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Meditating in 1997 Thailand (Part 5 of 7)
By E. Raymond Rock

Many thoughts and regrets came up while I was at this monastery, which was a natural reaction when the mind begins to go deep. After all, it's the mind's last-ditch effort before it gives in to stillness. Memories still haunted me. At first, I tried to put these memories out of my mind and think of something else, but that didn't work; they kept seeping back in. Then I decided to flood my mind with memories until I became weary of them, hoping that since everything changes (Impermanence: the first of the Three Characteristics), the strength of memories would have to subside as well. So whenever the memories began to fade and the mind was ready to move on to other things, I forced it to remember and relive the episodes over and over, hundreds of times until I was so fed up with all the emotionalism that the memories triggered, they completely drained from my mind. Fear definitely thrives best in darkness, and I forced light into my memories.

The forest was abounding in wildlife, many barking deer, squirrels, and snakes of all kinds, and consequently, it was a haven for ticks. I had to examine my entire body daily for the little pinhead sized rascals, because if I missed one, in only a few days they would grow as big as an eraser head, and be almost impossible to dislodge - I still have scars from the ones I missed.

Large cobras would lie in the ravines between the rock formations that surrounded my kuti, but they behaved themselves as long as I didn't disturb them, and rarely did they crawl under my kuti. I had to be especially cautious when doing my walking meditation in the forest, however, as they loved to lie in my path. It was a good practice in awareness, and whether I was meditating of not, it was easy to spot them because the awareness was so uncluttered here in the forest.

I tried never to look around while I was doing my walking meditation-not even a sideward glance, and I walked at a normal, relaxed pace from one end of the path to the other with my arms hanging relaxed and my hands clasped in front. I would bring my mental attention to an area in my forehead between my eyes, through which I would seemingly watch myself walk back and forth. With my mind aware, I tried not to break this concentration. I wasn't walking; my body wasn't walking; there was only the pacing back and forth, and something observing this through my third eye. I tried to maintain this forehead concentration all day, seeing everything through it. It was like a 24/7 meditation, with few thoughts.

Gorgeous wild orchids, purple ones, grew in a small area on top of an adjoining rock formation about a hundred feet away, beckoning to me, always tempting my endless desires that looked for the slightest excuse to raise their persistent heads. Getting to the orchids required navigating through the ravines, and the cobras, which I gladly risked. I loved meditating in the middle of those flowers. Since the snakes liked the ravines as well, constant disagreements ensued over who had the right of way, but somehow we worked it out.

One night about 2 a.m., I was sitting in meditation when I heard and felt something extremely heavy coming up the steps of my kuti. The whole hut was shaking! My first thought was that it could only be two or three fat monks, but they would never interrupt me in the middle of the night, and I could see no signs of lanterns. Moreover, all the monks were tiny! I listened closely with my heart in stop mode, but there were no further sounds . . . except for heavy breathing, and it wasn't human breathing. Whatever came up my steps was now silently waiting on my porch, and this was eerie.

E. Raymond Rock of Fort Myers, Florida is cofounder and principal teacher at the Southwest Florida Insight Center, http://www.SouthwestFloridaInsightCenter.com His twenty-eight years of meditation experience has taken him across four continents, including two stopovers in Thailand where he practiced in the remote northeast forests as an ordained Theravada Buddhist monk. His book, A Year to Enlightenment (Career Press/New Page Books) is now available at major bookstores andonline retailers. Visit http://www.AYearToEnlightenment.com

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