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How Do You Get Comfortable In Your Aging Skin?
By Martin Kimeldorf

For some time now the term "senior citizen" has become confusing at best and useless in the long term. A television reporter shows older people injecting wrinkles with Botox and going to the gym to pump iron in the middle of the day. Try to have lunch with many retirees and they pull out a calendar, struggling to find a free moment in their multi-tasking lives. This new-old image of human development is well reported in the press-and it is conflicted. On the one hand folks are seen embracing new roles in late life, and on the other, they appear to be pursuing an image of youth. One must ask, "Are they really comfortable intheir aging skins?"

As "boomers" retire early and in increasing numbers, we must come to grips with labels that no longer adequately describe this increasingly diverse stage we inhabit after adulthood.

Personally, I prefer to call it elderhood. This term forces me to face off against the image of my accumulated years staring back at me in the mirror. Thinking about myself as an elderboomer-rather than a babyboomer-break free from past stereotypes. Hopefully I'll find the pause button in our fast-forward, overworked

GETTING OLDER IS GETTING….?

Will my generation learn to embrace this later stage in life with the same passion and hope we once displayed in our youth?

The short answer is "Possibly…most likely probably".

I have to admit, that I'm not one of those "seniors" preoccupied with pumping iron…Fact is, most of my life I've struggled to reduce my body size in this land of plenty. I also freely admit that I sometimes am taken aback by my lab tests… and scrapbook pictures of my younger self. But each day I find develop a firmer grasp over that wonderful prayer-line: "give me the power to accept the things I cannotchange."

Over the long-haul change has been my constant companion. Hair color, face, posture, jobs, family, geography, spouse, politics, religion, and outlook have all evolved. And yet, as I course along this elliptical journey through time, I find that my true friends, my family, and many of my colleagues remain at the center of my personal cosmos. People and ideas have become the sun around which Iorbit.

I begin each day with a few pills that allow me to worry less about my health "conditions."

On occasion I have a second (hell who am I kidding-a fourth) piece of fudge. Some evenings I down an extra drink at night. I enjoy going days without making my bed. I may even succumb to the infomercial blasting oldies from the 60s and buy the damnCD.

Though my wallet is near empty by the end of the week, I often blow the last few dollars on lunch with a friend…Many nights seep eludes me. You might find me surfing the net or monkeying with the remote at 3 in the morning. During certain twisted moments I perch before the slowly fading fireplace and ponder the "what-ifs" choices from my past. In these moments, I thumb through old dog-eared yearbook pages, finger long-forgotten childhood mementoes, or ponder the loves long lost. I wince-with-a-grin when I recall youthful goals once declared with fist-pounding righteousness.

Financial experts hurl warnings at me, blowing a hurricane of fear in my direction. Many acquaintances steadfastly salt away monies in long-term care, insurance policies, 401 K and the like. But I have also seen too many dear friends check out before the arrival of their 13th Social Security check. And, I've worked with nursing home residents who feel no more secure, no more at ease with their "assets" piled high in the bank vault. As such, I remain somewhat a voyeur to financialplanning scene.

I speak my mind more often these days. I mean more of what I say. It is the privilege that comes with the rank of "senior citizen." My closest friends know when to ignore me, when to chide me, and when to debate me. At times, I've become unreasonable, even demanding. I've less time to put up with the BS of official policy and procedures. I disregard most of it. I've also even earned the right to be passionately wrong.

For some strange reason I've become even more of a dreamer and idealist at this point in the game. I continue to find the human species to be an endless source of planetary humor. The words from a particular Bob Dylan song seem to describe this odd emotional space I dwell within. Do you remember the line: "I was so much older then, I'm younger than that now." I think I finallyunderstand this lyric.

I still am filled with questions about both outer and inner space. I still wonder what I will be when I grow up. I'm not sure why, but I am more suspect of "rational discourse" and more easily enticed by mystical thought.

Ah…back to the question, "Do I like being older?"

At first, I ran from the query. In fact, I remember visiting with a dear friend who was dying of cancer. She pointed out that "Getting old ain't for sissies." She was right. But, was adolescence any easier? But then, doesn't each stage bring us a unique set of tasks?

I am not bothered about owning a face animated by wrinkles. Each line has been etched by youthful laughs and weepy pains. And as my body becomes more limited and confined, my mind seems to experience its greatest moment of freedom. I take comfort in this veryhuman irony.

There is a wisdom to be gleaned from those who have aged well. My father felt he had retired from paid work in order to pursue labors of love. This included the passing on his experiences to younger people.

Another sage wrote, "As I venture from the young-old towards the old-old stage, my external eye grows blurry. However, my internal eye becomes more important as it strives to make sense of life." I recall how my mother-in-law's hearing grew ever so silent. She learned listened more carefully to the voice inside.

In my own experience I have stopped worrying so much about my memory becoming less reliable because I know there are many things worthy of forgetfulness. Besides, I have a hard drive that never forgets (it just crashes).

My father (an early heart patient) felt that as his body slowed, he became less the doer and more the viewer. A life-long scientist, he took great pleasure in observing how the story lines about him developed.

I know a lot more now…yet I probably understand less. But one thing I feel-yet find it hard to explain-is sensation that growing older has set me free in ways I had not anticipated. I am becoming less critical of myself. I am now, probably for the first time in my life, coming closer to the person I have always wanted to be.

I've been lucky to have many books and articles published, and more recently my images have been distributed online and in print. Along the pathway, I've won awards for teaching, playwriting, essays, and now photography. My teaching experience spans classrooms in prisons, colleges, public schools, and a variety of retreat settings where I conduct workshops.

My current teaching and coaching interests include journaling about photographs, Photoshop & PhotoArt coaching, career portfolios, leisure wellness, and retirement lifestyle planning. I have lived in Tumwater, Washington for almost 30 years. My wife Judy and dog Franky really enjoy the Pacific Northwest.

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